Bartending: The Best Job I’d Never Recommend
It gave me everything — except a reason to endorse it
I was a bartender for 15+ years.
I started in my local pub after my dad put in a good word with the landlord, moved to busier sports bars, into nightclubs, restaurants, and eventually boutique cocktail bars here in Sydney.
It was easily the best, most fun industry I’ve ever worked in — which is exactly why you, or your loved ones, should never do it.
When are you getting a real job?
You’ll hear this all the time. Despite being an industry that will quite literally never die or be taken over by AI, a gilet-clad finance bro will always ask you this golden question. Other derivatives include: “So, what else do you do?” or “You must be studying?”
When met with the reply, “No, this is my full-time job,” the look of confusion and disdain can be soul-destroying. Even the most steadfast humans won’t help but question their career choice under the shadow of judgment.
The Ugliest of the General Public
Oh man. Customer-facing jobs expose you to the worst of the public. Now add alcohol to the mix, and you’ll witness — and be subjected to — the most shameless, disgusting behaviour you can think of.
I’ve been spat on, punched, kicked, had glassware thrown at me, and been called every name under the sun. If you don’t already have thick skin, you’ll need to grow one — fast.
To a lot of people, you will always be the help, and many confuse service with servant. And the worst part? You have to take it — or risk a bad review and your coke-addled boss telling you to pack your bags.
Clueless Owners
Hospitality is one of those industries where people with absolutely zero experience think they can excel — like building a KLINSK bookshelf from IKEA and calling yourself a carpenter.
The number of bosses I’ve had who were utterly clueless is staggering. If you’re thinking about opening a restaurant because you make a mean curry, please don’t. You’ll be closed and out of pocket within a year.
Can you imagine giving Adrian Newey car design tips because you own a VW Golf? No. You’d look like a fucking idiot. So no, boss — I won’t be putting a Midori and Malibu cocktail on the menu because you had one in Tenerife that one time.
Girls
Girls will expect free shit. All the time.
Then they’ll get annoyed when you explain you can get fired for giving away stock for nothing in return.
But that doesn’t matter apparently. Because tits.
Boys
Boys will expect free shit. All the time.
“Sort me out on that pour mate, I’ll look after you.” Wink.
‘Looking after you’ in this context means leaving a couple of dollars, at best. Risking your job for a Freddo isn’t tempting for anyone with an IQ above 3.
Abuse of Power
Promises of management, co-ownership, power, visas — all valid tactics employed by dickhead owners to retain staff.
The waitress the manager is shagging will get more shifts than you. Hell, you might not even get the job because someone more attractive showed up.
Stopped shagging the manager? Say goodbye to your full-time hours and hello to eating mi goreng noodles every night.
I once had an inexperienced manager throw an ice cube at my head because there was a customer waiting at the bar (while I was already serving someone else). I calmly served the next guest, pulled him aside, and gently explained that if he ever did anything like that again, I would stomp his face into the ground.
He never bothered me again. He was later fired because he was shit.
Substances, Substances Everywhere
I can confidently say 80% of everyone I’ve worked with had some form of substance abuse problem.
Whether it’s getting high on your own supply of booze, or cocaine, ket, pills, weed — or all of the above — it’s not a healthy lifestyle.
I took the challenge head-on and became a fully-fledged alcoholic, like many of my peers.
It’s a sad spiral. Often leading to depression, and sometimes suicide. I made it out the other end (just), but the same can’t be said for many others in the industry.
Limited Career Opportunities
The typical career path for a bartender goes:
Bartender → Supervisor → Manager → Sales Rep → Brand Ambassador.
Of course, ownership is an option — and with experience, you’ve got a better chance than the dopes with none. But it’s still risky.
If none of that’s attractive, you might find yourself starting completely fresh in a new, daunting industry.
Odd, Long Hours
Working the complete opposite of a 9–5 means a few things:
You won’t be able to do the fun stuff your friends with normal schedules do.
That sick DJ coming to town on Saturday night? You’ll meet your mates after your shift and hear how great it was.
Beach day? Don’t get too comfortable — you’ve got to leave by 2pm to start work.
Dating? Finding quality time will be impossible. You leave for work as they get home. It’ll strain the relationship until it breaks.
Which leaves one option: socialising with other bartenders and hospitality people. Isolating you further from the day-walking world.
Sexual Harassment
I’m a straight, white male — not the typical demographic to be targeted in this regard.
But it happens. I’ve been groped and kissed without consent plenty of times. And that’s nothing compared to what women — and especially trans people — experience.
Ask literally any woman in hospitality if she’s been sexually harassed, and be prepared to hear the worst shit imaginable.
This industry is rife with predators.
Conclusion
Hospitality is a rough go. It can chew you up and spit you out. You’ll age faster, be tired all the time, eat like shit, and look like garbage.
Would I do it all again?
Absolutely.
Did my fair share of bar work and hospitality back in the day. Definitely character building. I've never drank as much and as often as when I worked in bars in Darwin in 2010. I'm also from UK so know binge drinking culture well...but it was just constant. Fun times but very glad they're done. Good piece mate.